Toot Toot Baby.

What is that you smell at 10:30 pm????

Why that is meatloaf in the oven, and OH MY a pasta side dish too?!?!?

I think I may have outdone myself.

I worked late tonight and I will work late tomorrow.

Instead of leaving all three of the boys high and dry…I stayed up EXTRA late and made them dinner for tomorrow.

I even went as far to cook if for Casey.

All he has to do is microwave a very well balanced meal prepared with love.

[insert vomit noise here]

I don't usually like to brag but OMG I may be the best wife ever.

Oh…I forgot to mention that I pureed carrots and "hid" them in the meatloaf.

Genius.

Just call me Martha or Superwoman. Whichever is fine with me.

Toot Toot Baby!

Welcome to the Crack House

When you are on an anorexic budget like I am,

Black Friday and Cyber Monday are like crack to a junkie.

I can barely muster the strength to resist.

I am being tempted via email, Facebook, and Twitter.

Promises of free shipping and unbelievable discounts are luring me in.

Every *DING* indicating a new email means more temptation lurks just waiting to pounce.

I really can't take it!

Ann Taylor Loft with your 40% and free shipping!!! STOP IT!!

Banana Republic, Gap, and Old Navy…you evil conglomerate!

I will not shop. I can not shop.

But OH MY GOD I want to.

Please DEAR LORD let Casey get a job soon!

I'm going to go dip my debit card in water and put it in the freezer.

My version of rehab.

All I want for Christmas…

So is it wrong for me to have paint top the things I want on my Christmas list?

I get these random desires to upgrade things in my house.

Tonight…I desperately want to give my fireplace a makeover.

I have found a product that will do EXACTLY what I want (insert CHEER here).

Downside is that is cost almost $300 (Booooo)

What is a highly motivated, financially challenged girl to do?

You know the commercials on TV that show impoverished children? They ask for a donation.

Well I know that my cause is nothing compared to the plight of the poor…but does my picture elicit sympathy??

 

Property Value

Our neighbor's house is on the market.
It is owned by a little old lady and decorated as such. I did a little internet stalking to verify.
It is only a two bedroom one bath.
Ours is 3 beds 1.5 bath.
When I saw the asking price I about fell off my couch.
It is $35,000 LESS then we bought our house for 5 years ago!!
Holy shit. We are never going to be able to move!
I did a zillow search on our house and it is listed as $20,000 less than our purchase price.
Holy shit.
The recession is over, didn't you hear?
I'll just ignore the fact that my husband is out of work and our property value continues to fall and believe everything I hear.
God bless Democrats.

Wordless Wednesday

Look at how I rank....nice.

 Grant is thankful for....

One of those days…

I set my alarm to work out this morning.

Today like soooo many other days it did not happen.

I turned my alarm off and went back to sleep….I overslept.

I woke at 6:20 a full HOUR past my usual wake up time.

I was flustered…ran to the bathroom and began to brush my teeth

with face wash.

Yes…I brushed my teeth with my face wash. I still have the taste in my mouth.

Will my teeth now benefit from the same anti-aging benefits the bottle promises?

Gross.

My face wash gave me heartburn.

Neat.

 

Fumbs Up

There are certain characteristics that every mom hopes their child will inherit.
For me there are traits I was hoping would skip a generation.
my obnoxious height
frompy hair
poor math skills
Well Grant was dealt a bad hand, or I guess it is more appropriate to say he was dealt a bad thumb.
He has inherited my Trigger Thumbs.
When I was under 2 years old I had to have surgery to release the tendons in my thumbs to make them fully functional.
It came to my attention a few weeks ago that Grant may suffer from the same problem.
We were playing thumb war or as he says "fumb war" and he said "Look mommy my fumb is broken. It won't go up" and he was right it wouldn't go up. His left thumb was locked into place at the first joint.
I called the pediatrician, she referred me to a pediatric orthopedists. We had an appointment and surgery is scheduled on December 1, Paw-Paws 60^th birthday so I'm sure that is a good sign.
As you can imagine I am nervous about my little guy being put under and having surgery but he is super excited about giving me a fumbs up when it is all over.
I love you buddy!

Scrooge?

So the countdown to Christmas has officially begun.
Walking into our house you will instantly be accosted with the sounds of Grant shouting "mommy buy me that" at every commercial break on TV.
We have a stack, an actual STACK of toy magazine and sale flyers that my boys look through and highlight what they want. Now remember they are 3 and 19 months and they are already in the "buy me that" stage.
I have been asked my family already what we would like for Christmas. For the boys – it is easy. I already have a healthy list form the "buy me that" suggestions. It is easy for me to tell other people what to buy my boys. What I don't say out loud is that I am afraid of what WE will buy our boys.
The extra income just is not there for the Christmas I had planned. I will be able to swing presents under the tree but nothing we can provide will live up to the boys' expectations. That breaks my heart. I know other people are in much worse situations but I am new to this and in my eyes not being able to give my boys everything they want breaks my heart. Literally.
I am also slightly sick to my stomach about my own Christmas list. My mom has been quazi-stalking me for if for a while. And if I am going to be real honest here, which I try to do on this blog, I think it is absolutely ridiculous that I would ask for anything for Christmas when we are running so low on money. The idea of getting a new purse or clothes is so insane when I get anxiety attacks when I check out at the grocery store.
What do I want for Christmas? I would like the peace of mind that everything will be OK. I want my husband to feel better about our situation and to land the job of his dreams. I want this to all go away. I also wouldn't mind if Jason's Deli failed a health inspection and closed down. A girl can dream right?

Dear Jason’s Deli

Dear Jason's Deli,
This is addressed specifically to your Chesterfield, MO location.
You suck.
In case you were not aware your company is based on 5 core values as stated by your President Joe Tortorice:
Taken from Food & Drink Magazine

While developing the culture of Jason's Deli, "We came up with five principle core values," he states, noting that those include:
•    Being a great place to work
•    Holding the highest personal standards
•    Providing "out-of-this-world" service
•    Serving the highest quality of food
•    Being a healthy, growing company

 I personally take issue with #1, #2, #5 for the reasons below:
#1 Being a great place to work – you were until you laid off my husband on October 8, with no severance package. You may be a great place to work but you are a horrible place to leave.
 #2 Holding the highest personal standards- Really? How much detail do I need to go into here? My husband had to go to training for 12 weeks beginning in October 2009 in Iowa. We live in Missouri. He left his wife and two children (2 years old and 7 months) to live 6 hours away for 12 weeks because he believed in the company he worked for. He was let go less than a year from the opening day. His job was given to a friend of the store owners, the best man at one of their weddings. Need I say more?
#5 Being a healthy, growing company The Chesterfield store was not making the numbers so my husband lost his job. Not so healthy.

I hope you understand the position you have left my family in. For this and countless other reasons I will never go to another Jason's Deli. I have told my friends, they have told their friends, and so on.

 I recommend watching what you say about your company. You may want to check it is true before you put it in print or base your mission upon it. Not smart. Not smart at all.

Wordless Wednesday

This picture pretty much sums up our relationship. I love him dearly but he is FULL of personality as pictured below.

How Do You Know?

How do you know that you are a good mom?
Stop.
Think.
I will reask the question.
How do YOU
KNOW you are a good mom?
I got to thinking about this in the shower tonight, which is where I do my best thinking.
We would all like to think that we are good moms. But how do you know?
Most successes in life are measured by their end result.
When you are a mom, your job never really ends so the end result is never really attained nor is it quantifiable.
How do you measure a child's "success"? Can't some fantastic moms raise less than fantastic children?
I wish there was a test or a quiz you could take to make sure your parenting skills were on task, to ensure that you were not doing irreversible damage to your child.
In order to work at Applebee's you have to take a quiz over the menu, but as a parent you are given 48 hours in the hospital with your newborn and then led out into the world with the hope and expectation that you will somehow evolve into a good mom. That's seems totally logical. Right?
I was lucky. I have an absolutely wonderful example to follow. My mom is amazing, so amazing that she has made impossible footsteps to follow in. I literally do not know how she did it and continues to do it. Her maternal instinct is palpable.
I worry I am a bad mom because of stupid things:
I don't take enough pictures
I have only used our video camera once
I did not finish either baby book
I do not read enough bedtime stories (which will come back to haunt me when they take their ACT)
I work full-time
I let them eat chicken nuggets for dinner
They watch too much TV
We don't belong to a play group
Our food is not organic
Neither of my children are considered "advanced"
We quit soccer
I say bad words too often around little ears
the list goes on and on and on and on…..
Do these things make me a bad mom? Seriously what is the standard?
I wish I got graded. Grant brought home his first report card from school (pre-k) and he was graded with Mastery (M), Satisfactory (S), and Needs Improvement (NI). This was nice because I was able to see where my little guy fell in the various areas. However as soon I was done reviewing the report card, I began wondering what the average was. Did any kids get a NI? How did Grant compare? Did the teacher write nice comments on everyone's report card?
How do you know you are a good mom?
Maybe the answer to this question is all relative….based on comparisons of other moms. Maybe like with Grant's report card I want to know that I am in line with the rest of the class. That there are some better moms out there, but at least I am not the worst.
I guess that is where I will have to leave it. I know there are moms out there wrapping up the scrapbook for the month of October, planning tomorrow's play date, organizing the flash cards, while making the shopping list for Whole Foods in the morning. I am not her. I will never be her and I am OK with that. I love my boys. They love me. They love each other. That will be my measure of success. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.