How Do You Know?

How do you know that you are a good mom?
Stop.
Think.
I will reask the question.
How do YOU
KNOW you are a good mom?
I got to thinking about this in the shower tonight, which is where I do my best thinking.
We would all like to think that we are good moms. But how do you know?
Most successes in life are measured by their end result.
When you are a mom, your job never really ends so the end result is never really attained nor is it quantifiable.
How do you measure a child's "success"? Can't some fantastic moms raise less than fantastic children?
I wish there was a test or a quiz you could take to make sure your parenting skills were on task, to ensure that you were not doing irreversible damage to your child.
In order to work at Applebee's you have to take a quiz over the menu, but as a parent you are given 48 hours in the hospital with your newborn and then led out into the world with the hope and expectation that you will somehow evolve into a good mom. That's seems totally logical. Right?
I was lucky. I have an absolutely wonderful example to follow. My mom is amazing, so amazing that she has made impossible footsteps to follow in. I literally do not know how she did it and continues to do it. Her maternal instinct is palpable.
I worry I am a bad mom because of stupid things:
I don't take enough pictures
I have only used our video camera once
I did not finish either baby book
I do not read enough bedtime stories (which will come back to haunt me when they take their ACT)
I work full-time
I let them eat chicken nuggets for dinner
They watch too much TV
We don't belong to a play group
Our food is not organic
Neither of my children are considered "advanced"
We quit soccer
I say bad words too often around little ears
the list goes on and on and on and on…..
Do these things make me a bad mom? Seriously what is the standard?
I wish I got graded. Grant brought home his first report card from school (pre-k) and he was graded with Mastery (M), Satisfactory (S), and Needs Improvement (NI). This was nice because I was able to see where my little guy fell in the various areas. However as soon I was done reviewing the report card, I began wondering what the average was. Did any kids get a NI? How did Grant compare? Did the teacher write nice comments on everyone's report card?
How do you know you are a good mom?
Maybe the answer to this question is all relative….based on comparisons of other moms. Maybe like with Grant's report card I want to know that I am in line with the rest of the class. That there are some better moms out there, but at least I am not the worst.
I guess that is where I will have to leave it. I know there are moms out there wrapping up the scrapbook for the month of October, planning tomorrow's play date, organizing the flash cards, while making the shopping list for Whole Foods in the morning. I am not her. I will never be her and I am OK with that. I love my boys. They love me. They love each other. That will be my measure of success. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.