So it happened. I turned 30. What is weird about this is that I am not freaked out about the number. It is the fact that I am 30 that I find so very strange.
Things to ponder…when my mom was 30 she had 4 kids. When my mom was 30 her dad passed away. I remember when my mom was a room mother at my grade school. She was 34 when I was in 3rd grade. She was at a party for school and I remember looking at her and thinking she was so old. Now I am there, right where she was, and I do not feel old.
Other things I am wondering…Do I have to stop shopping at Forever 21 now that I am 9 years past their target market? Will I throw off the whole marketing strategy for the store? If I am in fact 30 why do I still care about things on my college campus? For example what is going on in my sorority and if the girls are still considered "cool" (when I say cool I also mean not slutty
J) I mean seriously, why do I care?
I am the oldest in my family so naturally there are family traditions that are applicable to the youngest kids but are not really relevant to someone my age. For example I now have 30 years of pictures of me and birthday cake, I still sit in the family room surrounded my siblings to open my birthday presents and pass them around for a closer look. My dad had gotten me flowers every year on June 13 since 1980. I asked him this year how long he will bring me flowers for. His answer was, forever. I am going to hold you to that dad.
Looking back on the past 30 years makes me realize that right now, in this very moment, I am living the life I dreamed about when I was a little girl. If I could stop time right now and freeze my boys, parents, and family in time I would. I love things just the way they are. I wish time did not have to move forward. I don't say this for the obvious vain reasons, but because as I get older I know my parents do too. It is a scary fact that I don't want to face. Why am I talking about it now? Maybe my one glass of wine has given me the liquid courage I need, but I am allowing my mind to wonder to that scary place. 99% of the time I can say I want to be just like my mom. However as I said my mom lost her dad at 30. This scares me so very much. I can't go there. I do consider myself so very lucky. My mom is my best friend and my dad made me a promise of flowers forever and a promise is a promise.
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