My First Round of Plastic Surgery

Both of my boys have a stuffed dog named Dominic.

When I took Grant up for his nap today we found Dominic like this.

pre-op

When asked what happened to Dominic, Grant said “Daddy did it.”

Dominic was rushed downstairs for emergency plastic surgery.

Dominic needed his ears done.

Although I not crafty by any means I was able to reattach the ear with few complications from surgery.

Dominic is in bed resting comfortably and is very medicated.

post-op

Falling For You

It is cold today.

There was an ice storm last night.

Schools have been called off.

My school is still in session (snow schedule).

My husband was nice enough to get the driveway prepped for my departure.

When he came inside I noticed a trail of what looked like Oreo cookie crumbs behind him.

I asked what the mess was.

The conversation went like this:

ME: what is all over the floor?
HIM: dirt.
ME: dirt?
HIM: Yeah, we didn't have any salt or sand. I put down potting soil for traction.

I did not reply.

I just took out my Dust Buster and cleaned up the mess.

I couldn't make this crap up.

SIDE NOTE:

Potting soil is not effective as an ice melt.

It makes frozen mud.

That is slippery.

I fell.

It hurt.

Next Time Around

They always say hindsight is 20/20.

Looking back you can always see how you would have, could have, or should have done things differently.

Until recently I never really looked at my life like that.

Until recently…

Today I am very much in the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" mode.

It is a sucky mode to be in.

It makes my heart heavy.

Sticks and stones may break my bones…

but words sometimes really hurt too.

Sometimes words do the most serious damage.

Wordless Wednesday

My Wednesdays are NEVER wordless…so why do I even bother?

Our Christmas tree is finally up. It takes all of 5 minutes.

The sucker opens up like an umbrella and already has the lights on it.

It is a sad pathetic little guy.

It is especially sad this year since there are no ornaments.

My youngest Carter is a spider monkey and he is going to take that tree down like a professional wrestler.

I thought we would forgo ornaments and save me from some headaches and Carter from some spankings.

Your welcome.  

It's a Charlie Brown Christmas



Toot Toot Baby.

What is that you smell at 10:30 pm????

Why that is meatloaf in the oven, and OH MY a pasta side dish too?!?!?

I think I may have outdone myself.

I worked late tonight and I will work late tomorrow.

Instead of leaving all three of the boys high and dry…I stayed up EXTRA late and made them dinner for tomorrow.

I even went as far to cook if for Casey.

All he has to do is microwave a very well balanced meal prepared with love.

[insert vomit noise here]

I don't usually like to brag but OMG I may be the best wife ever.

Oh…I forgot to mention that I pureed carrots and "hid" them in the meatloaf.

Genius.

Just call me Martha or Superwoman. Whichever is fine with me.

Toot Toot Baby!

Welcome to the Crack House

When you are on an anorexic budget like I am,

Black Friday and Cyber Monday are like crack to a junkie.

I can barely muster the strength to resist.

I am being tempted via email, Facebook, and Twitter.

Promises of free shipping and unbelievable discounts are luring me in.

Every *DING* indicating a new email means more temptation lurks just waiting to pounce.

I really can't take it!

Ann Taylor Loft with your 40% and free shipping!!! STOP IT!!

Banana Republic, Gap, and Old Navy…you evil conglomerate!

I will not shop. I can not shop.

But OH MY GOD I want to.

Please DEAR LORD let Casey get a job soon!

I'm going to go dip my debit card in water and put it in the freezer.

My version of rehab.

All I want for Christmas…

So is it wrong for me to have paint top the things I want on my Christmas list?

I get these random desires to upgrade things in my house.

Tonight…I desperately want to give my fireplace a makeover.

I have found a product that will do EXACTLY what I want (insert CHEER here).

Downside is that is cost almost $300 (Booooo)

What is a highly motivated, financially challenged girl to do?

You know the commercials on TV that show impoverished children? They ask for a donation.

Well I know that my cause is nothing compared to the plight of the poor…but does my picture elicit sympathy??

 

Property Value

Our neighbor's house is on the market.
It is owned by a little old lady and decorated as such. I did a little internet stalking to verify.
It is only a two bedroom one bath.
Ours is 3 beds 1.5 bath.
When I saw the asking price I about fell off my couch.
It is $35,000 LESS then we bought our house for 5 years ago!!
Holy shit. We are never going to be able to move!
I did a zillow search on our house and it is listed as $20,000 less than our purchase price.
Holy shit.
The recession is over, didn't you hear?
I'll just ignore the fact that my husband is out of work and our property value continues to fall and believe everything I hear.
God bless Democrats.

Wordless Wednesday

Look at how I rank....nice.

 Grant is thankful for....

One of those days…

I set my alarm to work out this morning.

Today like soooo many other days it did not happen.

I turned my alarm off and went back to sleep….I overslept.

I woke at 6:20 a full HOUR past my usual wake up time.

I was flustered…ran to the bathroom and began to brush my teeth

with face wash.

Yes…I brushed my teeth with my face wash. I still have the taste in my mouth.

Will my teeth now benefit from the same anti-aging benefits the bottle promises?

Gross.

My face wash gave me heartburn.

Neat.

 

Fumbs Up

There are certain characteristics that every mom hopes their child will inherit.
For me there are traits I was hoping would skip a generation.
my obnoxious height
frompy hair
poor math skills
Well Grant was dealt a bad hand, or I guess it is more appropriate to say he was dealt a bad thumb.
He has inherited my Trigger Thumbs.
When I was under 2 years old I had to have surgery to release the tendons in my thumbs to make them fully functional.
It came to my attention a few weeks ago that Grant may suffer from the same problem.
We were playing thumb war or as he says "fumb war" and he said "Look mommy my fumb is broken. It won't go up" and he was right it wouldn't go up. His left thumb was locked into place at the first joint.
I called the pediatrician, she referred me to a pediatric orthopedists. We had an appointment and surgery is scheduled on December 1, Paw-Paws 60^th birthday so I'm sure that is a good sign.
As you can imagine I am nervous about my little guy being put under and having surgery but he is super excited about giving me a fumbs up when it is all over.
I love you buddy!

Scrooge?

So the countdown to Christmas has officially begun.
Walking into our house you will instantly be accosted with the sounds of Grant shouting "mommy buy me that" at every commercial break on TV.
We have a stack, an actual STACK of toy magazine and sale flyers that my boys look through and highlight what they want. Now remember they are 3 and 19 months and they are already in the "buy me that" stage.
I have been asked my family already what we would like for Christmas. For the boys – it is easy. I already have a healthy list form the "buy me that" suggestions. It is easy for me to tell other people what to buy my boys. What I don't say out loud is that I am afraid of what WE will buy our boys.
The extra income just is not there for the Christmas I had planned. I will be able to swing presents under the tree but nothing we can provide will live up to the boys' expectations. That breaks my heart. I know other people are in much worse situations but I am new to this and in my eyes not being able to give my boys everything they want breaks my heart. Literally.
I am also slightly sick to my stomach about my own Christmas list. My mom has been quazi-stalking me for if for a while. And if I am going to be real honest here, which I try to do on this blog, I think it is absolutely ridiculous that I would ask for anything for Christmas when we are running so low on money. The idea of getting a new purse or clothes is so insane when I get anxiety attacks when I check out at the grocery store.
What do I want for Christmas? I would like the peace of mind that everything will be OK. I want my husband to feel better about our situation and to land the job of his dreams. I want this to all go away. I also wouldn't mind if Jason's Deli failed a health inspection and closed down. A girl can dream right?

Dear Jason’s Deli

Dear Jason's Deli,
This is addressed specifically to your Chesterfield, MO location.
You suck.
In case you were not aware your company is based on 5 core values as stated by your President Joe Tortorice:
Taken from Food & Drink Magazine

While developing the culture of Jason's Deli, "We came up with five principle core values," he states, noting that those include:
•    Being a great place to work
•    Holding the highest personal standards
•    Providing "out-of-this-world" service
•    Serving the highest quality of food
•    Being a healthy, growing company

 I personally take issue with #1, #2, #5 for the reasons below:
#1 Being a great place to work – you were until you laid off my husband on October 8, with no severance package. You may be a great place to work but you are a horrible place to leave.
 #2 Holding the highest personal standards- Really? How much detail do I need to go into here? My husband had to go to training for 12 weeks beginning in October 2009 in Iowa. We live in Missouri. He left his wife and two children (2 years old and 7 months) to live 6 hours away for 12 weeks because he believed in the company he worked for. He was let go less than a year from the opening day. His job was given to a friend of the store owners, the best man at one of their weddings. Need I say more?
#5 Being a healthy, growing company The Chesterfield store was not making the numbers so my husband lost his job. Not so healthy.

I hope you understand the position you have left my family in. For this and countless other reasons I will never go to another Jason's Deli. I have told my friends, they have told their friends, and so on.

 I recommend watching what you say about your company. You may want to check it is true before you put it in print or base your mission upon it. Not smart. Not smart at all.

Wordless Wednesday

This picture pretty much sums up our relationship. I love him dearly but he is FULL of personality as pictured below.

How Do You Know?

How do you know that you are a good mom?
Stop.
Think.
I will reask the question.
How do YOU
KNOW you are a good mom?
I got to thinking about this in the shower tonight, which is where I do my best thinking.
We would all like to think that we are good moms. But how do you know?
Most successes in life are measured by their end result.
When you are a mom, your job never really ends so the end result is never really attained nor is it quantifiable.
How do you measure a child's "success"? Can't some fantastic moms raise less than fantastic children?
I wish there was a test or a quiz you could take to make sure your parenting skills were on task, to ensure that you were not doing irreversible damage to your child.
In order to work at Applebee's you have to take a quiz over the menu, but as a parent you are given 48 hours in the hospital with your newborn and then led out into the world with the hope and expectation that you will somehow evolve into a good mom. That's seems totally logical. Right?
I was lucky. I have an absolutely wonderful example to follow. My mom is amazing, so amazing that she has made impossible footsteps to follow in. I literally do not know how she did it and continues to do it. Her maternal instinct is palpable.
I worry I am a bad mom because of stupid things:
I don't take enough pictures
I have only used our video camera once
I did not finish either baby book
I do not read enough bedtime stories (which will come back to haunt me when they take their ACT)
I work full-time
I let them eat chicken nuggets for dinner
They watch too much TV
We don't belong to a play group
Our food is not organic
Neither of my children are considered "advanced"
We quit soccer
I say bad words too often around little ears
the list goes on and on and on and on…..
Do these things make me a bad mom? Seriously what is the standard?
I wish I got graded. Grant brought home his first report card from school (pre-k) and he was graded with Mastery (M), Satisfactory (S), and Needs Improvement (NI). This was nice because I was able to see where my little guy fell in the various areas. However as soon I was done reviewing the report card, I began wondering what the average was. Did any kids get a NI? How did Grant compare? Did the teacher write nice comments on everyone's report card?
How do you know you are a good mom?
Maybe the answer to this question is all relative….based on comparisons of other moms. Maybe like with Grant's report card I want to know that I am in line with the rest of the class. That there are some better moms out there, but at least I am not the worst.
I guess that is where I will have to leave it. I know there are moms out there wrapping up the scrapbook for the month of October, planning tomorrow's play date, organizing the flash cards, while making the shopping list for Whole Foods in the morning. I am not her. I will never be her and I am OK with that. I love my boys. They love me. They love each other. That will be my measure of success. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

When it Rains it Pours

I don't want sympathy. I most definitely do not want pity.
I just need to get it all out there.
My recent blog posts have been about life handing you a lemon….
I have used various takes on this cliché to fit our current situation.
Well here is another one.
When it rains it pours.
My grandma always said bad things happen in 3. Here is our recent breakdown:

1. October 8 Casey loses his job
2. October 18 Casey hospitalized for pneumonia
3. October 23 I discover Grant has a trigger thumb which will require surgery.He has his first consultation on 11/8

I have quit saying "well it could be worse" because it keeps getting worse.
Casey is still so very sick which is making it very hard for him to look for jobs. He went on an interview yesterday and it wiped him out. He has probably lost 15 pounds. He is too sick to do this, but he has to for his family and for himself.
His pride and his immune system have been damaged.
I hate to see him go through this.
So how do I feel…
I am still so angry and shocked that we are in this situation. I am in a constant state of panic attack. I wake up with my heart beating out of my chest. My anxiety is off the charts. Writing this now I feel like I could cry.
This is just such a humbling experience, to watch every penny spent.
I am 30 years old and my mom and dad paid my son's tuition for the month. When I found out that they had done that for me I cried. My parents not only take care of me, but they are now taking care of my kids. It breaks my heart. I am so very thankful, but I can't help but be sad. This is my life.
As I said before I know there is a light at the end of this crappy tunnel. I have to believe that. I know we are going to emerge a better family and couple at the end of this. IT WILL BE OK. I tell myself that, I tell my boys that, I tell my parents that. Now I just have to believe it.

Love and Hope in Tiny Packages

Anyone who is a mom of boys knows that is can be tough.

They are crazy.

And I love them like crazy.
Since my guys are close in age I have always had the hope that they will grow up to be best friends.
The awesome part is I see that relationship forming already.
When they are not fighting over the train set or the last chicken nugget, you can see they truly care about each other.
Those moments melt my heart and make me realize that although I question myself as a mother almost on a daily basis I am doing something right.
My boys love me and love each other.
At the end of the day when I contemplate my current life status, I see areas of my life literally falling apart in front of my eyes.
My boys love….real unconditional love gives me faith in our family's future.
I gave them life.
They have changed mine.

I have 2 little guys, 18 months apart.

I have the bruises to prove it.
I am always told by random ignorant strangers "Boy you have your hands full."
My boys are full of energy, very determined, and already extremely opinionated.
They play rough.
They break the rules.
They push my patience to the absolute limit.

Sign of the Times

It is funny how life happens.
Really it is.
I woke up on Friday not worrying about money.
I went to bed thinking about our December mortgage payment.
I say this is funny, but I don't mean that in the conventional sense.
I guess ironic is more like it.
I was at Wal-Mart last night and before I checked out I put stuff back out of my cart.
I had never done that before. It was a real eye opener. I am here. We are here. My family is a statistic of the economy.
My husband lost his job. It still stings to write that sentence.
This is painful for me. But it is killing him. It is a massive strike to the male ego.
I am taking wisdom form the old country song and "standing by my man." I think I may actually love him a little bit more because of this and the way he is handling himself.
He is better than this. We are better than this.
I am certain we are going to come out of this stronger, better and smarter than we were at the start of the month. I can't say the same for my husband's soon to be former employer.
We are "lucky". He gets paid through October.
Take note this is a company that is "mission driven", based on "core values" what a crock of shit.
I say this as a warning to everyone. Don't think it won't happen to you. It can. It will. Be better prepared than we were.

Life’s Lemons

What does not kill you makes you stronger. True or False?
I kind of hate this phrase but at the same full heartily believe it. Sadly right now I am also living it.
Not really ready to fully divulge the situation, but know everyone is healthy and our family (both extended and nuclear) remains intact. At the end of the day that is what is really important. This I know, but it doesn't make our current situation any easier.
What does not kill you may drive you crazy.
This is my life's mantra. I know I will not die, but I may actually lose my mind. I am hoping to drop a few pounds in the process. The only silver lining in this shitty shitty situation (insert self pity here and a SIGH for good measure.)
I made this my FB status earlier this week: If life gives you lemons do you make lemonade…or throw them back and say F.U. lemons?
Well here is a big F.U. to the lemons and praying my lemonade has some vodka in it.

Soccer Saturday #2

I consider this an improvement from last week. I made myself feel better with the following points:

• He is on the field

• He is by the goal

• He is near a ball

• He is within earshot of the rest of the team

The other parents are telling me to "hang in there." Their kids are not unconscious on the field, easy for them to say.

We will miss next week's soccer extravaganza since my sister is getting married. The next session we go to we will be attending the "mommy and me" session. Clearly we are not ready to play with the big boys.

PS- I hate soccer. I hate all sports. Having to play soccer, even with my 3 year old is going to be painful and embarrassing….for both of us. Prayers and sympathy welcome.

Here Comes The Bride – Is My Gray Hair Showing?

My little sister is getting married on 10.2.10.

While I am very happy for her, I am dreading being a bridesmaid (for the 6^th time I think).

I know that this is not about me. I am merely an accessory of the day. It is about my sister and her husband. But there is something to be said for a mom of 2 walking down the aisle and doing the chicken dance at the reception.

Tonight at my dress fitting (insert vomit sound here). I had to ask the seamstress to really tighten the straps so my boys can't rip it off of me. Nice.

Whatever. In the grand scheme of things, no one will give a crap about what I look like. For my own vanity I am REALLY hoping my new anti-aging products kick in within the next 9 days.

Here comes the bride followed by her cougar sister. Sick.

PS...I get to do it all over again on 6.25.10 for sister #3. Hell yeah Kopacs. Lets do this.

Winning the Battle Losing the War

Gray hair count for the week: 7

New Product to Try:
The Sacred Truth - LUSH Fresh Handmade Cosmetics

Claim:
"When you feel that your laughter lines are more crow's feet and you need a mini makeover with having to take a trip to the spa, then reach for The Sacred Truth. Masses of nutrients provided by nourishing papaya, softening yoghurt, peppy wheatgrass and a whole host of herbs will give tired skin a fantastic boost"

Soccer Saturday

If a picture is worth a thousand words this should sum up our first soccer experience.

Yes that is my son lying on the field. That is the extent of his participation. Best $130 I ever spent.

Flashback to 1950

I have been working late the past two nights. I leave the house with the boys at 6:20 am and return home by 10:00 pm. SIGH.

On these nights Casey picks the boys up from my moms. I literally have no Idea what he does with them from 5:00 – bedtime.

Grant woke up this morning after a "boys night" with dad. I called Casey to ask how Grant got hurt last night. Casey said there were no injuries to report.

Our conversation went like this:

Me: did Grant get a bloody nose last night?

Casey: No he was fine why?

Me: he woke up with blood on his face and he doesn't know what happened.

Casey: it's not blood it's probably M&Ms. He was eating them in bed before he fell asleep.

AWESOME.

While I am not at home my children are not bathed, teeth are not brushed, and the main source of nutrition is candy. Again AWESOME.

I forgot….when he put a ring on it we left for our honeymoon in a DeLorean
and flashbacked to 1950.

Don't worry dear. I'll take care of it, right after I finish dinner. Can I get you a cocktail while you wait?

♥Don't worry Casey I still love you ♥

Feelin’ a Little Famous!

I would like to preface this with I know I am so pathetic….But I feel so important. Check me out on topmommyblogs.com!! Please vote for me!
http://www.topmommyblogs.com/blogs/in.php?id=monica

Debbie Downer (a reflection on birth order)

Does your oldest child already act like an oldest?

I ask this because I wonder when I first fell into my role as the "oldest."

Last night was my sister Emma's bachelorette party. Emma is number 5 out of our clan of 10. She for all intensive purposes the middle child. She fills the role to a T. The baby of our family, Kurt is in fact a giant baby. Now don't get me wrong I love Kurt so very much but he is a 5'5 10 year old baby.

I have read some studies on birth order and I am a class oldest. Every aspect of my personality can be attributed to being the oldest of my family. Now I look at Grant and wonder if he is destined for the same fate.

I say this because being the oldest is something you never outgrow. It had advantages when we were little. I always got to ride in the front seat and my toys were always new. As an adult it was neat to be the first to graduate college, get married, and have kids. But as an adult I have found the advantages to become fewer and further between.

Case in point: last night. As I said, it was my sister's bachelorette party. All of my sisters ( well 4 of them – Carla is not of legal age to drink), my mom, and two friends hit the town. It became very clear, very fast, that I would be the oldest one, aka the responsible one. I made sure (to the best of my ability) that everyone was in control and appropriate (although Paula gave me a run for my money). In other words I had NO FUN. But I am the oldest. That is my job.

Birth order can be a bitch sometimes. I often have to be the voice of reason among all the crazies. Last night would have made a great episode on a reality series. We were like the Kardashians with smaller butts.

Bad mom…lessoned learned.

One calendar week has gone by. I have not sent out Grant's thank you for his birthday party.

Bad mom.

I did not have them designed ahead of time. First mistake.

Bad mom.

I did not have stamps ready to go. That was #2.

Bad mom.

I must send them out on Monday in order to save my reputation. I must.

Good mom...well here's hoping anyway.

Food for thought…

Personal confession….I am jealous of all the newly pregnant/almost ready to deliver moms out there. I feel like EVERYONE is pregnant except me.

Does this mean I am ready for number 3? I can't imagine it right now. The thought actually kind of scares me. After Grant I knew I wanted another baby right away. I could not get pregnant fast enough. Grant was 9 months old when we were blessed to find out I was pregnant with Carter.

I LOVE being pregnant. I feel like it is one of the very few things I am actually good at (I am not totally sure you can be "good" at being pregnant). It is a time I really enjoy, and it is not just about the food (although I do LOVE the food part). I just love growing a tiny baby and anticipating the birth. It is absolutely my favorite thing….but right now I am scared to be outnumbered.

What really sucks is that I am not really at an age to delay expanding our family. I will be at least 31 when the next one is born, or older. I always thought I wanted four kids. I am at a stage at my life where I consider altering my life plan?

While pregnant with Carter I just assumed I would have another baby right away. But that urge just didn't kick in as strong after his birth.

Is this sudden pang of jealous a sign that I am ready for number 3 or simply a play of peer pressure, following the everyone is doing it mentality?

It is something to think about….

A note on the GROSS….proceed with caution.

There are many things as a mom you find gross but learn to handle.

I feel like I have tackled most of them pretty seamlessly.

I met my match last night….

I can't deal with poop. Specifically poop in underpants.

I gag.

I heave.

I can't do it. I really can't. I just threw everything away. Sorry Mother Earth. I have drawn the line.

Don’t Blink

I expected to have a long blog entry ready to go. I expected to recount the tears and the true horror I experienced. But I have none of that.

Grant went to his first day of preschool yesterday.

And it was easy!!! He was a total "adult" about going to school. He was excited, happy, and social. When it was time for me to leave I got a hug and "I love you mommy." That was it. I hung out in the hall with all the other pathetic moms waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did. Grant not only survived but he THRIVED in this new experience and I could not be more shocked and proud at the same time.

Someone at work told me I will blink and I will be dropping him off at college. Yesterday as I walked away from his classroom alone, with tears in my eyes, I was careful not to blink.

Kevin Goes to College

We will miss you so much....have fun and be safe Uncle Kev. And don't forget to visit us soon!

Love- you little buddies Grant and Carter.

Wearing the Pants

In this crazy thing we call marriage, sometimes I win, and sometimes I lose.

Well I won the latest battle. I got to do my bathroom makeover and I LOVE IT. I can't believe I waited this long to make it happen.

Special thanks to Casey for letting me wear the pants on this one.

PS....I kind of like the way they fit...expect me to have them on more often.

BEFORE

AFTER

Minivan Moments

Let me set the scene. Grant, Carter and I on the way home from Grammy's house today.

Grant: Mommy, why we stopping?

Me: What color is the light?

Grant: Red

Me: What does red mean?

Grant: Stop

Me: And we are in traffic buddy.

Grant: I hate traffic.

Me: Me too buddy

Grant: Yeah mommy. True that.

I LOVE this age!!! Grant is turning 3 in September and he is just so much fun. We have (hopefully) navigated the terrible twos and are smoothly sailing into the KICK ASS threes!! Grant I know you are going to become a big boy one day but I hope you never lose your goof ball personality!

Friday Night Fun

Dear Red Robin,

I would like to personally thank you for being one of the loudest restaurants on the planet. I mean that, I am sincerely thanking you.

My children screaming over their french fires and chicken fingers were no louder or more disruptive than the countless other sticky hand toddlers attacking their siblings over the onion ring tower.

I left your restaurant dirty, exhausted, and loaded down with countless calories, which is exactly how I like it. Our family survived a Friday night dining experience and I lived to tell the story. You are now my favorite dining establishment. We will be back, you have been warned.

God bless you!

Wishful Thinking

During a trip to Wal-Mart this evening with both of the boys I got to thinking. Wouldn't life as a mom be easier it the following things were socially acceptable:

• The fanny pack: now before you shudder and turn away, hear me out. Picture it fellow moms, you are out running errands, at the mall, or even the park. Your child wants a snack, falls down, needs a wet wipe you name it. All items would be safely tucked away in the fanny pack secured around your waist. Leaving both arms free to push the cart/stroller or carry babies without the annoying shoulder slippage of a purse. A chronic problem with my youngest Carter is as I carry him; he reaches into my purse and takes stuff out. Sometime to play with it, other times just to throw it. Not fun. A fanny pack would solve all these problems. Consider it the "hands free" option of handbags.
  


• The cell phone hip holster: again here me out. Picture it. You are out with the kids, you pick the location. Your cell phones rings, which then leads to a frantic search though the bouncy balls, discarded suckers, and forgotten sippy cups to find the phone. Sometimes I am left to go on ringtone alone because a visual cannot be established or I am guided to my phone only by the glow of the screen hidden amongst the rubble. Either way 9 times out of 10 I miss the call and moms you know once you miss a call it could be days or even weeks before you get around to returning the call. Now picture your cell phone securely fastened to your waistband at all times. No fumbling or fruitless searches, no missed calls. Use your imagination. It could be a beautiful thing.

I am too much a follower to start these "trends" solo. I'm just saying the fanny pack and hip holster could be a great tool in the mom tool belt if anyone is brave enough to take them on….let me know. I will be secretly cheering for you and slightly jealous!!!!!

Pictured: a chic fanny pack option (an oxymoron I know)…and if you must ask, YES those are my abs. Obviously.

OMG

OMG....this is a statement I repeated several times this Friday.

Oh my God, look at that girl.

Oh my God, look at her dress.

Oh my God, what is she doing?!?!

A little back-story.

Casey had I will be celebrating out fourth wedding anniversary on 7/15. Casey planned a night out for us all by himself, which was very sweet and incredibly thoughtful. The boys spent the night at grandmas so we were free to hit the town which is something we clearly do not do very often.

Our evening began with a kick ass dinner at Cafe Provencal. Then Casey had planned a surprise for me, a night at the Four Seasons downtown. Which was amazing!!! After dinner we went to the hotel where Casey had gotten a bottle of wine and put it on ice and had flowers for me (so nice I know!!) We had cocktails on the rooftop deck and then headed to Lucas Park. This is a bar we used to frequent in our pre-baby days, but it had been almost four years since I had been there. Not much had changed, expect the crowd was roughly 9 years younger than us, but it was a nice group of respectable college graduates, or at least that was the story the girl I became friends with in the bathroom told me.

After our Lucas Park adventure it was about 12:30 and I was ready to call it a night. Casey however wanted to visit his good friend Matt who manages 15. I was a good sport and said sure...I had never been there. I had always pictured it as a nicer establishment. This is where the OMG began.

Hookers out in full force

I don't know if it was something in the cocktails or a full moon, but the hookers were out in full force at this place. When I say "hooker" I do not mean the literal translation, but it is the best word to use to describe the majority of the YOUNG girls at this bar. Let me paint this picture for you. I am enjoying a glass of champagne, compliments of Matt Ratz, and I look to the dance floor. Out there is a young (maybe 21), blonde, thin, girl in a leopard print "dress." Now "dress" is in quotations because at some points in the evening I felt like her OBGYN. It was that SHORT. She was dancing her actual ass off with some random guy, her friend then joined them. She and her friend, who was also in a "dress" then, began to make out. Fully make out. With each other while continuing to rub all over the guy they were dancing with. I would like you to now pause and picture my face when I was watching this.

I lost track of the leopard hooker but lucky me she resurfaced in the VIP section, where she began to give lap dances. To girls AND guys. At least she did not decimate. It was bad. Like Cancun bad. The worst part was that she really was not acting much different than the other girls around her. I think her taste in fashion is what first caught my eye. You may ask, why didn't you just stop looking?? That is a fair question, but it was like a car accident on the highway. You just have to look.

My question is this....so what is with these girls? I mean seriously. Has that much changed since I have been off the market? Is this what girls do now? I know everyone has a time in their life where they may have been a little wild and crazy but holy crap, I look like a celibate nun compared to these girls. I looked at Casey at some point and said "I'm calling Oprah; she needs to do a story about this." It was that bad. It was so bad that it is two days later and I am still talking about it. It was just not right! I look at my 14 year old sister and I can tell you this, if she ever acts anything like the hookers at 15 I will have my parents send her to military school or a convent. I am dead serious. OMG. It was just not right. Thank God I have two boys that happen to be perfect J. At least I won't have to worry about the leopard print dress (I hope).

OCD like me?

For awhile now I have been thinking that I may have a slight problem with OCD. Now I am most definitely not touching every doorknob or washing my hands 2,000 times a day but I have a few "quirks" that have led me to wonder if there is something going on here.

What are my quirks you may ask? Well they seem to focus around cleaning. I am a freak about it. Now I am not a neat freak by definition but I LOVE to clean. Specifically vacuum. I cannot go to bed without vacuuming every night. The carpet needs to have vacuum lines on it and I have to be the last one to walk on it. According to my research and the ½ of a master degree I have in counseling, OCD is defined as an obsession/compulsion that impairs everyday life. So what happens if for some freak reason I do not get to vacuum? Well I won't drop dead, I can sleep at night, but when I wake up and have to get the day started I feel anxious and I have to clean. I cannot have the boys wake up to a messy house. Every night before bed I must vacuum the family room, sweep and vacuum the kitchen, wipe down the counters and table, load the dishwasher, and clean the sink. My clothes have to be out for the next day along with the boy's clothes. And then I may rest. This behavior does not bother me. It is just how I work and how I like things run, however it drives Casey insane which in turn makes him think I am just a little bit crazy. Being just a little crazy is OK with me, most of the people I know are just a little bit crazy in one way or another and that is what keeps things interesting.

My issue with myself diagnosed OCD is that it is now rubbing off on Grant. He is slowly becoming a mini me in many ways. He hates mess, he organizes his toys, he won't walk in the house with his shoes on, and must always wash his hands and turn off the light after he uses the potty. He is a little man after my own heart but I wonder if I am making him weird. I don't want him running around the playground crying because his hands are dirty or because some kid messed up his lineup of trains. Is it OK for him to be OCD like me? No matter how this shakes out I know one thing for sure. Grant is going to make on HELL of a husband so ladies lock up your daughters.

PS- I just realized I said vacuum like 20 times in this post so that be a clear indication that there is a problem here!!!

Milestones

This is not really a blog post, it is a mental note. Something for me to reflect back on.

We have had a pretty big week. I am in the middle of my "staycation." I have been off work since June 30. To be honest I am LOVING being at home and I feel so very lucky that I have been able to experience some pretty major milestones with my boys. This is a shout-out to stay at home moms. Remember how lucky you are to be with your children every day. I know it is a tough job but I am so very jealous.

Anyway onto the milestones.

A little potty talk…

Grant started potty training this week. I was praying that this would be the one thing he caught on to really quickly. He was a slower walker and an even slower talker. He just likes to do things at his own pace. He is now running around like a crazy man and his vocabulary has been so advanced that we now have indepth conversations about all the character in Thomas the Train and the monsters that apparently reside in his room. I did not want to put any pressure on Grant but again I was praying that this potty training thing would be a piece of cake. However we got off to a rocky start. He hated the potty, he cried for his diaper…you get the picture. I promised him he could pick out any toy at the store if he used the potty (I know bribing is not endorsed by all the parenting know-it-alls out there, but I do what works) and guess what….it worked!!! Last night he went potty (July 5, 2010)!!!

Today he has consistently used the potty and even did a #2 (July 6. 2010) without any bribes or pleading from me (the #2 is TMI I know but again this is for family record).

Now I literally just read an article in Parenting that was all about celebrating your second child's accomplishments with equal or greater enthusiasm than your first so this one is for you Barter Boy…

Making strides…

For weeks, especially since summer has started I have begged Carter to please start walking. Like his brother he seemed to take this task on at his own pace. He is such a little stinker. I would watch his am I am still pretty sure that he has know how to walk for quite some time now. He simply did not want to do it. He would scoot his little but everywhere. At the pool he would act like a submarine and try to crawl under the water. He would scoot along the concrete to avoid knee injury. This kid knew what he was doing. Despite my pleas with him to walk he just would not do it. I told my mom I wish he understood money because I would totally pay him for his first step. I was worried that his walking would finally take off and I would be at work. My mom would be the one to congratulate him and give him all the kisses and praise. These are moments that I treasure and I desperately want to take part in, so I was so very please when Carter decided to get down to business.

This week Carter has started walking!!! As of yesterday, July 5, 2010 I am calling him an official walker. It is still not his 100% preferred mode of transportation but the kid can do it. My baby is walking and I am so very proud of him. His 15 month check-up is tomorrow and I am so happy that I can report that he is a walker. Way to go Barter Boy…you make mommy proud!!!

* Note to Carter: Grant did not get a blog post about his first step so this makes you extra special!!!

Boys- I am so happy to be able to spend this time with you. I am so proud to be your mom. Even though you drive me crazy sometimes, being your mom is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Thanks for being such wonderful kids.